Cart Monkeys ©
This is an old post from my previous blog, however, I did experience cart monkeydom just yesterday, which reminded of it. You can dock some points for posting the same blog twice, I'll take the hit.
Consider this blog belated. The events about to unfold actually occured yesterday, circa lunch time in my local Walmart parking lot. Yes, this blog is a rant. And yes, it could be potentially ranting on you, pending you act as one of the said monkeys in the title.
I know I have posted many a rant on this technological memoir we call the E-Wedgie, but none have the sheer magnitude of pet peevedness as the following.
Pet Peeve Numero Uno:
CHUMPZILLAS WHO FAIL TO RETURN THEIR SHOPPING CART TO THE CART CORRAL.
I cannot tell you how much I hate it when I find a spot and begin to whip the old gas gusseling Passat in there only to find that some cart monkey left his shopping cart right in that spot. What lazy buffoon can't do everyone the courtesy to put the cart in the corral spot like 10 yards away? So I'm stuck in this spot halfway now and have to decide whether to quickly get out and move the cart or reverse and try to find another spot this side of China in the Walmart parking lot on a Saturday in the suburbs (highly unfavorable position). I'll admit it I can get a little heated when it comes to driving. Then finding that I have to deal with someone's laziness on top of it well that just completes the value meal, if you catch my drift.
Then there's always the other side of cart monkeydom. This is when I come back from making a well designated purchase from said Walmart and come to find some chumpzilla left his cart in front of my parked car, making the probablity of it rolling and hitting my car that much more favorable. One time I actually found one kissed against my bumper. Let's just say I was losing testimony by the second.
My first question, "How?" How could someone be as lazy and uncourtesous to his fellow man as not to return the cart to the cart corral?
My second question, "Who?" Who was it that left their cart there and how can I get their address as to leave shopping carts on their front lawn?
My last question "What?" What the heck?
If you are the cart monkey, beware. I am on to you. I know how you roll. I got connections. One faithful day I will catch you dropping carts like it was nothing and you will then be entering into a world of pain.
Consider this blog belated. The events about to unfold actually occured yesterday, circa lunch time in my local Walmart parking lot. Yes, this blog is a rant. And yes, it could be potentially ranting on you, pending you act as one of the said monkeys in the title.
I know I have posted many a rant on this technological memoir we call the E-Wedgie, but none have the sheer magnitude of pet peevedness as the following.
Pet Peeve Numero Uno:
CHUMPZILLAS WHO FAIL TO RETURN THEIR SHOPPING CART TO THE CART CORRAL.
I cannot tell you how much I hate it when I find a spot and begin to whip the old gas gusseling Passat in there only to find that some cart monkey left his shopping cart right in that spot. What lazy buffoon can't do everyone the courtesy to put the cart in the corral spot like 10 yards away? So I'm stuck in this spot halfway now and have to decide whether to quickly get out and move the cart or reverse and try to find another spot this side of China in the Walmart parking lot on a Saturday in the suburbs (highly unfavorable position). I'll admit it I can get a little heated when it comes to driving. Then finding that I have to deal with someone's laziness on top of it well that just completes the value meal, if you catch my drift.
Then there's always the other side of cart monkeydom. This is when I come back from making a well designated purchase from said Walmart and come to find some chumpzilla left his cart in front of my parked car, making the probablity of it rolling and hitting my car that much more favorable. One time I actually found one kissed against my bumper. Let's just say I was losing testimony by the second.
My first question, "How?" How could someone be as lazy and uncourtesous to his fellow man as not to return the cart to the cart corral?
My second question, "Who?" Who was it that left their cart there and how can I get their address as to leave shopping carts on their front lawn?
My last question "What?" What the heck?
If you are the cart monkey, beware. I am on to you. I know how you roll. I got connections. One faithful day I will catch you dropping carts like it was nothing and you will then be entering into a world of pain.
posted by Joe at 1:51 PM
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